Well friends, it’s that time of year again! Time to dust off those boxes full of tangled strings of lights, force a smile through Aunt Suzy’s famous brussels-sprout stuffed chicken parmesan bake, and tell Santa what you want for Christmas this year. Speaking of the naughty list, we’re doing a little gifting of our own over at Bay City Blues this year.
If you’re a client of ours, we want to help you celebrate the season with a free ten minute call (VIPs get 15)! Click on the banner for details. I can’t think of a better way to get on the naughty list.
In all honesty I kind of love this time of year, even in all of its cheesy glory. I like to spend my time making gifts for the important people in my life (little known fact about me, my domestic skills rival those of any suzy-homemaker type), drinking, and socializing with friends. This year I made epic baskets of candy for everyone (Tonya will curse me when she finds out! But too bad. YOU WILL HAVE THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT, DAMMIT!)
The only thing I can’t get into is what I like to call ‘sexy Christmas.’ I don’t care who you are, how drunk you where when you thought of it, but dressing up like an elf or Mrs. Claus’ college-age slutty sister is NOT SEXY. It’s creepy. You know that song Santa Baby? I always thought it was just …wrong. So, so wrong. Being kinky, I get a lot of sexy Christmas cards. I have to look at them in the way that you have to watch a train wreck…you just have to know how bad it’s going to be, and boy, is it BAD. Last year a friend sent me an image of his gaping asshole (kid you not) covered in Christmas ribbon. WHY!!!? I thought you liked me?! They usually aren’t that terrible, typically I get things like trussed up turkeys, or naked girls tied up with Christmas lights (which is okay, but not as original as everyone seems to think it is..) This year we’re taking bets on what the worst will be. But mostly, I’m just scarred. So let’s keep the sexy out of Christmas elves and Santa and instead put the sexy where it belongs: in chilly nights by the fireplace spent with the people who are most important to you.